Friday, October 23, 2009

Dale Earnhardt

Dale Earnhardt was one of the most popular racers in the history of NASCAR. #3 won the respect of many a hillbilly, and I think that a lot of that can be attributed to this fine push-broom style lip whisker. We miss you, Dale.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Mark Sanchez

A few Sundays ago Dan Dierdorf remarked, “And that mustache wasn’t there last week. It looks like Mr. Sanchez is taking a mustache out for a test drive this week.” That may be one of the greatest quotes of all time. However, in the last game no 'stache? Well Sr. Sanchez...I say you take it out for another spin. Give it time and you'll look like this artists rendering:

George Parros

When your nickname is the 'Stache, there's a pretty decent chance you'll make it on this blog. Add in a South Bay address, and it's a cinch. Yes George, as you were quoted in '07, "The 'stache demands respect."

Barack Obama

All the power ties in the world won't add up to the effect of a nicely maintained soup strainer. If you want to be the most powerful man in the world, you better act like it!

Top 5 Civil War General Mustaches

IT'S A TOP 5 LIST!!! In a trend of thing's to come, CM will be giving a run-down of the top 5 mustaches of a particular genre. Today, top 5 mustaches of the powerful leaders of the civil war...
#5 Robert Rodes

General Rodes graduated from VMI in 1848 and rose quickly through the ranks of the confederate army. It has been said that “Stonewall” Jackson was mesmarized by Rodes’ ability to fashion his mustache into a near perfect right angle. Alas, Rodes does not make it further up this list, because he was not actually much of a soldier. He was wounded in the battle of Seven Pines and later killed in battle in the Shenandoah Valley

#4 Philip Sheridan

Abraham Lincoln described his appearance as: "A brown, chunky little chap, with a long body, short legs, not enough neck to hang him, and such long arms that if his ankles itch he can scratch them without stooping.” Despite this extremely insulting description, in 1865 his cavalry pursued Gen. Robert E. Lee and was instrumental in forcing his surrender at Appomattox. The protection of the Yellowstone area was Sheridan's personal crusade which is not surprising, since many mustachioed men have crusaded for the preservation of Amercia’s National Parks.

#3 P.G.T. Beauregard

P.G.T. Beauregard became the first Confederate brigadier general and commanded the defenses of Charleston, South Carolina, for the start of the Civil War at Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861. Beauregard and Confederate President Jefferson Davis (a clean shaven fellow), had a strained relationship (no surprise). It’s been said Davis’ dislike of the mustache led to the fall of the confederacy. After the war, Beauregard started the Lousiana Lottery, and in turn amassed quite a fortune.

#2 General Ambrose Burnside

Burnside was always very popular—both in the army and in politics. He made friends easily, smiled a lot, and remembered everyone's name. His professional military reputation, however, was less positive, and he was known for being obstinate, unimaginative, and unsuited both intellectually and emotionally for high command. In case you were curious, YES his distinctive style of facial hair IS now known as sideburns, derived from his last name.

#1 George McClellan

McClellan’s first military action was during the Mexican-American War. He arrived near the mouth of the Rio Grande in October 1846, well prepared for action with a double-barreled shotgun, two pistols, a saber, a dress sword, and a Bowie knife (BADASS!). He was also the most popular of that army's commanders with its soldiers, who felt that he had their morale and well-being as paramount concerns...and a deep reverence for his facial hair.

Paul Simon


Happy 68th Birthday to Paul Simon. It's fairly obvious why Paul Simon was my favorite member of Simon & Garfunkel.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Tony Sporano


Tony Sporano looked fired up tonight after the Miami Dolphins nailbiting MNF victory tonight. Tony's aggressive use of the Wildcat offense and admirable facial hair are both due credit.