NHL: Mustache v. Mustache

I find that it is no surpise that the most anticipated playoff matchup of them all is 'Hawks v. Flames. Is it because of Mike Keenans' former post as Blackhawks coach? No! Adrian Aucoin's swap of teams? No! Is Jim Vandemeer a douche? Yes! (not related to mustache talk). Anyhow, this is the lone mustache v. mustache battle in the first round of the playoffs. Whoever wins this series, by my math, will be hoisting the cup come June. Since the launch of CM, no non-mustachioed coach has won the Stanley Cup, and I would be shocked if it happened this year. Let the best man (Q) win!!!

Dr. Phil

One of the members of the CM staff was on jury duty this week. In the jury room, he was distracted by a silly southern voice with little information. It was this blowhard. Dr. Phil is in the minority of people who should shave their mustaches off. I think that it's a relief to know that that's not a real mustache, rather a transplant from the top of his head to the top of his lip. We're not fooled!!!

TGIF: Carl Winslow

I think that it is apparent that this is the most respected cop in Chicago. There is no better 'stache on the force.

Ned Colletti & Kenny Williams

Minutes away from the first real pitch of the year, here is Celebrity Mustaches pick for the world series...Dodgers v. White Sox. Let the games begin!!!

Jason Giambi

One of the most highly publicized mustache efforts of the 21st century, Jason Giambi really does a service to the mustache community with this gem.

Gary Gaetti

Gary does not look very intellectual in this photo. Nonetheless he hit 360 bombs and has a solid soup strainer.

John Candelaria

I love all baseball players with mustaches...check that...I like most baseball players with mustaches. This is pitiful John.

Keith Hernandez

But I'm Keith Hernandez!!!

Rollie Fingers

I think that it's fair to say, Rollie Fingers has the most famous mustache in baseball history. I think it's also fair to say that every ounce of that credit is well-deserved. This is spectacular.

Wade Boggs

Boggs is rumored to have consumed sixty-four beers over a flight from Boston to Anaheim. Although he has denied the number, Wade said, "it was nothing to be proud of...let's just say it was a few Miller Lites." Not a shock that Wade can hold his booze, considering those respectable whiskers.

Jack Morris

And I tip my hat to your well-groomed whiskers, Jack.

Sal Fasano

Jeff Pearlman said of Fasano: "When I think of Sal Fasano, however, I think of greatness. Not of Willie Mays or Ted Williams greatness, but of a uniquely excellent human being who, were class and decency the most valued standards of a career, would be the easiest Hall of Fame inductee of all time." Obviously, look at the 'stache.

Rod Beck

There was some controversy around this post. Not because Rod is rocking hardcore facial hair...because he is. But whether or not a Fu-Manchu was a mustache, or was it in the goatee family. Our research department consulted with Wikipedia and..."A Fu Manchu mustache is a full mustache that extends downward past the lips and on either side of the chin." Controversy eliminated.

Jim Leyland

Whatcha got there James?

Russell Martin

For those of you who question the need for veteran leadership in a clubhouse, just look at the positive effect that Jeff Kent had on young Rusty Martin.

Sammy Sosa

Take steroids, shave mustache...get beaned in the head. An important lesson for everyone.

Robin Yount

Later in his career Robin grew a much thicker and fuller mustache. But I want to celebrate Robin's desire to nurture his 'stache from an early age. Something for all youngsters should keep in mind.

Dave Stewart

I think that I speak for everybody when I say I wish I had been in Oakland on 8/6/88 for Dave Stewart button-pin day.

Rance Mulliniks

I have to admit, I have no idea who this is. His picture showed up when I was looking for Pat Borders pics. But his name is Rance, and he has a mustache...so welcome aboard!

Dick Pole

It's good that Dick Pole was a major leaguer. Imagine the taunts he would have received if he was a CPA.

Reggie Jackson

"Mr. October" makes a nice run at Doug Drabek for things that make mustaches even sweeter. 'Fros and Aviators can now join mullets for things that accentuate mustaches perfectly.

Ken Griffey Jr./Sr.

Previous posts (Cecil, Doug, Tony) proved that the desire to grow a mustache is not genetic, it is nice to see this father/son duo. It's a shame that this picture is more than a little bit suggestive...and that's just not right.

Cecil Fielder

Was Cecil was a vegetarian too?

Pat Borders

It's 1989 Pat Borders! It's nice to see a catcher with the solid helmet as opposed to the hockey facemask. Nice work Pat.

Don Mattingly

It's good to see that "Dapper Don" decided to spurn Mr. Burns by re-growing the sideburns. It is my unfotuntate duty to report that "Donnie Baseball" has gone clean shaven in recent years. Not sure what the thought process was there, but I think that we all agree that he doesn't look nearly as distinguished.

Doug Drabek

In order to open up the list to all races, I have kicked off the festivities with Doug Drabek. Mustaches are obviously awesome. But it can not be argued that mustaches and mullets are way awesome. I salute you Doug.

Charles Johnson

If you haven't noticed, we're on a bit of a theme at CM. But it's related to the fact that I once had a dream of creating the all brother fantasy baseball team. However, I couldn't find a catcher. That makes me wish that a mustachioed Charles Johnson was still blocking the plate somewhere.

Tom Gordon

Numbers is baseball are essentially unimportant. Why the Royals thought they needed numbers on the sleeves to compliment the front and back of the jersey has never been explained.

Ozzie Smith

What list of sweet 'staches would be complete without a Muttonchopped Ozzie Smith. I'll assume that flavor savor was a one-day shaving oversight.

George Bell

Ladies and Gentlemen...A GEORGE BELL COLLAGE!!!

Willie Harris

There are a few things I think of when I think of Willie Harris. 1) The above picture of him scoring the only run in Game 4 of the '05 world series 2) He's from the same hometown as Jackie Robinson 3) His pencil thin mustache. Unfortunately, it's evolved into a sort of goatee-thing. Don't worry though, loyal readers, there is a movement for the return of the mustache: http://www.bringbackthestachewillie.com/

Tim Raines

While some members of the CM staff like "The Rock" for his head first slides, the thought of him kind of makes me sad. I feel like All-Stars from yesteryear had sweet nicknames. Today's nicknames are all related to the name like "A-Rod." Nicknames in baseball have gone the same direction as Mustaches and Dicks, and that makes me long for a bygone era.

Dick Allen

This, in my humble opinion, is one of the finest pictures in MLB history. And they say baseball players aren't athletes? 1972 AL MVP Dick "Marlboro Man" Allen begs to differ...just look at that man juggle! Also, check out this site http://ballhype.com/story/the_all_dick_team/, you won't be disappointed.

Tony Gwynn

I have no idea why...but I really like Tony Gwynn. I like him more after this picture. Minor disappointment that neither Tony Gwynn Jr. or top prospect Stephen Strasburg are supporting the look.

Dave Winfield

I don't know why the first baseball player I wanted to profile was Dave Winfield, but I'm damn glad that was my instinct. In my hunt for Dave sporting his classy 'stache I came across these two gems. Everything about the top picture is amazing. That someone felt the need to paint Dave, the alien in the front row, his delightful facial hair...amazing. This painting was done by http://artsbycraft.com/custom_art.html. Please visit this sight and take a look at the picture of some Illinois pride, and tell me that isn't the weirdest thing you've ever seen. The fact that a (great) dead man has his arm on Obama's shoulder is extremely unsettling. But I digress. So not only did I run across the painting, but also this TMZ-esque picture of Dave Winfield. Now, I concede that Dave Winfield was a hell of a player and one of the greatest athletes (one of only two people to be drafted in the MLB, NBA & NFL) of our era...but why would anybody want to see a 57 year old Winfield shirtless? It is quite astonishing. Anyway, in my research I saw that Winfield was still rocking the 'stache at his Hall of Fame induction so you know he means business. Thank you Dave for kicking off opening day!

Baseball

God bless baseball. There is nothing more americana than baseball and a killer mustache. Therefore, in honor of the glorious return of our nations pastime, today will be baseball mustache day! Grab your glove and mustache comb, and prepare for excitement.

Sam Elliott

I think that it's fair to say...something for everyone to shoot for.

Bobby Valentine

Although he was shooting for a disguise, Bob found himself a permanently distinguished look.

James Franco

I hate to do it because of my love of lip whiskers...but this concoction is atrocious.

Brad Pitt

This is not so much about facial hair, as it is embarassing.

Richard Petty

'Stache...solid. Hat...Not so much.

Wilford Brimley

Who could say no to that face?

Jake Plummer

The real reason that Cutler wanted out of Denver...he couldn't 'stache it like Plummer.

Phil Jackson

Bowties AND mustaches. Phil should be scolded for abondoning this look.

Gene Shalit

If you think that this is acceptable facial hair...we hate you!!!

Cliff Clavin

With government bailouts everywhere and ineptitude abound...public service you can be proud of!